Overcoming Fears

“Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?’ He said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’” (John 21:15 ESV). I fear my answer to the Lord’s question is as uncertain as Peter’s answer. The Lord asks Peter to measure his love, but Peter’s answer is absolute. I believe with certainty that I love Jesus. However, I also have loved and despised many; whether my love for life is more significant than my love of Jesus is uncertain and ambiguous — I fear the craftiness of my heart.

Dr. Reimer identifies the root of his fear as “the fear of not being loved” (p. 173). His obsession with controlling the outcome robs him of peace and fills his soul with anxiety. I believe the Lord loves me, “I have loved thee with an everlasting love” (Jer 31:3), and I know that nothing “shall be able to separate [me] from the love of God” (Rom 8:39). However, I fear I can’t reciprocate love. I’m concerned that my apathetic heart has become impervious to the sense and sensitivity of love. Reimer uses the phrase, “I don’t care what people think” (p. 175) to trick his soul because he does care; I, on the other hand, would have to remind myself, “I do care.”

The ability to articulate the source of fear begins with deconstructing it to understand its motivations. Jesus asked His disciples, “Why are you so fearful” (Mark 4:40; Mat 8:26)? The Lord wants me to examine what causes fears. At the root of my fear is the lack of (or little) faith; I must believe that His love has changed me — even when I cannot feel its effects. “I just fixed my attention on Jesus” (p. 175). For almost eight years, I have set aside time every night to sit quietly before the Lord. Learning to be still in God’s presence has reoriented my heart toward His sovereign grace, irrespective of my wandering thoughts. Worship became central to overcoming fears; when I spend time silently with the Lord, the quietness of the soul pacifies and brings peace to my desires (Isa 32:17; Ps 42:11). The Lord’s simple response to Peter’s fear was, “Feed my lambs” (John 21:15). Fears are placated when I walk in obedience to my Lord; my love might never be as “strong as death” or will it be the “most vehement flame” (Songs 8:6), but when I bow down and serve least of these in obedience, I know that I’ve loved Jesus (Mat 25:45; 1Pet 1:8).