Forgiveness

An accurate understanding of forgiveness can equip you with the cognitive tools to synthesize the emotional responses that cause distress and trauma. Anger and resentment are emotional tools we use to mitigate pain and pacify frustrations; wrath counters God’s character and righteousness, leading to unforgiveness (James 1:20-21). Understanding the forces behind unforgiveness leads us to call on the Lord for help dealing with disobedience and set us free from the tyranny of unforgiveness. Jesus says, “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (Jn 8:32); if we have learned the Lord’s teaching and submit to His word, our obedience to Christ should set us free.

“Forgiveness is a matter of obedience, not a matter of more faith. Forgiveness is your responsibility and choice, not God’s responsibility” (p. 121). I agree with the author’s statement that “forgiveness isn’t about faith” (p. 120). When we do not forgive, we are living in disobedience to the Lord’s command. Jesus taught His disciples when they prayed to the Father, “forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Mat 6:12); when we forgive others, our “heavenly Father will also forgive [us]” (Mat 6:14). The principle of forgiveness is defined clearly by the Lord, not to forgive is to disobey the Lord. The apostle Paul in Col 3:13 admonishes us to “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” The Christian must forgive because forgiveness is at the heart of salvation. Because God forgave us at the cross, we are “made the righteousness of God” (2Cor 5:21) in Christ.

The author uses the story in Matthew 18 to illustrate both the power of forgiveness and the consequences of unforgiveness. The servant’s debts were so significant that “no amount of time would allow this man to pay back” (p. 122); when he received forgiveness, he was set completely free. Not only did he not have to sell his family to pay his debts, but he also got to keep his family and not have to pay back what he owed. Forgiveness comes from a person who has received the freedom to forgive. However, unforgiveness reveals the heart of someone who has not truly received forgiveness. “The mercy of his master had not provoked him to become a merciful man” (p. 124); because he had not received forgiveness, he could not forgive (Mat 10:8).

Forgiveness is the heart of the gospel; our sins nailed Jesus to the cross, but instead of holding us responsible for the crime, the Lord prayed, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Lk 23:34). Mercy is the divine trait found in the children of God, “Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful” (Lk 6:36). When we understand the insurmountable depth of our sins in the light of God’s inexplicable forgiveness, how can we continue to hold someone in unforgiveness? We become unforgiving when we hold someone’s sin against us is greater than our sins against God. Hatred cannot be an attribute of a child of God, “but love covers all sin” (Prov 10:12).